Make your marriage infidelity proof
No marriage is affair proof, everyone marriage has to consider the possibility of being carried into an emotional affair or perhaps even sexual infidelity. There are some steps you can take to safeguard your marriage. Here are eight ways to do so:
- Stay honest: with yourself and with your spouse. If you find yourself attracted to someone, admit it quickly to yourself and to your spouse. Honesty is the key to preventing a relationship from escalating into infidelity. You may think to yourself, why? I haven’t actually acted upon my feelings; I haven’t done anything….yet. Saying something will probably cap it and stop it from progressing any further.
- Avoid: magazines, movies and other forms of entertainment that can increase your tolerance of affairs. This might seem a bit extreme but the soap operas and movies have normalised cheating and having a long-term affair as if it is just a normal, acceptable part of life. When you constantly watch something it goes into your sub consciousness and all of a sudden becomes normal, it also puts ideas into your head and you may even imagine yourself behaving like one of the characters. So if you don’t want to be the devastated couple that has had an affair made public to everyone in their local community, stay away from them.
- Try to see your relationships from your spouse’s perspective: What would your spouse be comfortable with? How would he or she feel about what you are doing? This will definitely help to avoid problems and arguments, obviously you will never have a perfect argument-free marriage, all couples disagree…but you can dodge the avoidable and needless ones. If you came home to a clean tidy house that your wife obviously spent time cleaning, don’t leave your shoes in front of the door, carelessly throw your coat on the stair banister and put your smelly steamy feet on the coffee table she just polished.
- Do not flirt: Most affairs begin with what’s considered “innocent flirting,” but there’s no such thing! Flirting is not a part of friendship. It is done with some kind of intention and do not fool yourself into believing that is harmless and light hearted. Would you blatantly flirt with another man or woman in front of your partner- if you had any respect for them or thought for their feelings – then the answer is NO!!
- Keep your marriage as your No. 1 priority: Make sure you are working to meet your spouse’s most important needs. If you’re not sure what those are, ask. This will make you even more valued, if you fulfil your partner’s most important needs it will make them feel as though you are one of a kind, and they wouldn’t be able to get that kind of love and dedication to their needs anywhere else apart from you.
- Take time for each other: go away for holidays, rediscover ad reconnect, you may think I live with my partner, I am with him/her every day I know what they like and dislike, but you may be surprised when you take the time to ask and listen to how your partner is feeling about your relationship so far, there may be things that they do not like but have been tolerating, their maybe an argument that they feel ever really got settled, there may be issues that your partner wanted to discuss with you but ever quite found the opportunity to until now.
- Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex: For instance, you and your spouse may decide that neither of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work. You may decide if working closely with the opposite sex is unavoidable, you will always work in a public place or at your home while your partner is around, there will ever be an opportunity for intimacy or flirting.
- Surround yourselves with happily married couples: who don’t believe in fooling around, the old sayings “Birds of a feather flock together” and “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” are extremely true. If your friends believe in monogamy and have the same beliefs and values as you and your partner, you will bounce ideas off each other as to how to sustain your marriages, if you each individually have friends who believe in promiscuity and keeping secrets from their partners, their influence may rub off on you and you may find yourself behaving as they do.
- Keep your sex life active and exciting: If a spouse feels neglected, unwanted or just tolerated, those feelings of being undesired could generate a big push toward someone else’s bed. Don’t think that you can allow your sex life to deteriorate without any consequences. If you think “he’s too old for that sort of thing” or “she is not the kind of person who would do such a thing” you may be sadly mistaken. Your partner may not intend to seek sexual healing in another person’s arms, but if you starve a person long enough they will eat anything. There are plenty of sex workshops that you can attend together, there are even some targeted towards the more mature couple, they are not meant to be embarrassing, and you will receive professional and practical advice from a qualified professional who has helped countless other couples.
You can keep your marriage safe from infidelity, whether an emotional affair or physical one. But it requires open, honest communication and a commitment to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage your No. 1 relationship.
