How to deal with the in-laws

How to deal with the in-laws

If you plan on having a long relationship with your partner, then you are going to have to find a way to get along with their parents and siblings. It is a very common problem for married couples and even couples who aren’t married to not hit it off with their relatives. Now this could be for a host of different reasons, you may find that they are snobbish and condescending, they might feel like you aren’t good enough for their baby, whatever the reason, neither of you are going anywhere anytime fast, so in order to make weddings, Christmases and birthdays more comfortable we’ve got some handy tips that will help you to get along better with your in-laws:

Don’t make your partner choose:

Don’t ever put your partner in a situation where he has to choose between you and his family, because, your in laws are an extremely important part of your spouse’s life and therefore they are an important part of your life.  Saying that it is important for your partner to know that when they get married and start a family their priority is the new family they have started and they should never allow that to be disrespected, it is your partners responsibility to stick up for you and not allow his or her family to disrespect you.

Set boundaries

Every man has another women in his life apart from his wife, and that other women is his mother, but don’t let your man take it too far and say things like, “my mother does it this way”, or” my mother doesn’t think that’s right”. When he says things like this simply tell him that if he wants it done his mother’s way, he should go and live with her.


Even if your in-laws don’t deserve it always show them respect, don’t feel stupid, apart from the fact that you are being the bigger person, you are not allowing yourself you get dragged into arguments, don’t respond to petty jibes or insults. It is your partners responsibility to resolve the issues between you and you in-laws, if you remain calm, polite and respectful regardless of the painful thing your in-law says, it will make it easier for your partner to fight your corner and show that you are obviously not the problem, on the other side of the spectrum this doesn’t mean you should be a doormat, choose your battles, if your in-law says something that is out of order stand your ground and your partner should definitely back you up

Make an effort to build a relationship

We are not suggesting that you become best friends, but you can certainly make an effort to get to know your problem in-law more by spending some one-to-one time with them. You can start by going round for a cup of tea and a little chat, going shopping or taking your children swimming together. Take baby steps to begin with and in time your relationship will grow stronger. You might actually realise that you have some things in common

Never let your in laws see you moody or upset, even when they are being purposely stand offish and rude. It gives them he satisfaction that they are getting to you, or it make it obvious that you can’t stand being around them. Force yourself to be pleasant and this may sound like a contradiction but try as hard to make it seem natural. You need to always come across like a nice loving in-law who genuinely wants to get on with your other half’s side of the family because you are.

Code word: Have a code word that you and your partner use when the atmosphere is getting too heavy or the tension is getting too much. Use this code word when you are at you in laws place to let your partner know that you have stayed for a sufficient amount of time and you would now like to leave.

You can’t choose your partners family and unfortunately they comes as a package, you just have to make the most out of the situation and try to turn it around in your favour.

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How can I get of my fear of commitment?

How can I get of my fear of commitment?

Are you in love with someone but afraid to fully commit in fear that everything will go horribly wrong? Have you been heart-broken by somebody you loved and trusted? Do you shut your feelings off at a certain point to prevent yourself from falling too hard? Have you vowed to never trust anyone or let anyone too close to you?

Well if your answer was yes to any of these questions you may very well have commitment issues? This could stop you from progressing in life and enjoying a beautiful and meaningful relationship.

Here is a guide of how you can combat your fear of commitment.

The first thing you need to do is seek professional help from a trained councillor or therapist, an unbiased person who you can TRUST to listen to you without passing judgment, someone who can help you delve into your past. A lot of people with commitment issues have had some sort of problematic relationship with their parents, siblings, and friends or in their marriages

Look around, you will not get over your fear of commitment for just anyone, some people find that when they find the right person, all their commitment fears just naturally dissipate. Find the right person who you could see yourself settling down with.


Your fear of commitment may be to do with your fear of getting hurt, living a life with no companion, no love is much worse than one that is filled with love AND hurt. It is normal, human behavior to feel love and pain, and denying yourself these feelings because you are scared is a form of self-mutilationv.


Make sure that when you start dating you make it clear that you want to take things slowly, if you are a man this may mean no talk of future or marriage and kids until you are ready. If you are a girl this may mean the same thing or not moving in together too soon.


Take a long look at your past relationships with people you really cared about. When you sabotage relationships with others to avoid getting too attached, you are lying to yourself. Instead of acting in a way that will ruin every relationship you are in, talk about your fear of commitment in order to get over it.

Take baby steps, a fear of commitment is also a fear of making promises that you feel you may not be able to deliver on. Begin with small promises, like being home or at dinner at a certain time. Then, you can move onto larger promises that carry more weight.


Once you have conquered your fear of commitment and realised that getting hurt is sometimes a part of life and a human emotion that everyone has to go through, you will feel empowered and more open to committing to your partner.

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Exercising safely while pregnant

If you were really active and worked out before your pregnancy, or if you just want to keep fit and healthy for the duration of your pregnancy, you can. You do have to take it a bit easier and there are some exercises that you have to avoid completely. Here is a guide to safely working out while you are pregnant…

Exercise tips.

Don’t overdo it and exhaust yourself, you will definitely have to slow the pace down as your pregnancy progresses or if your midwife advises you to. As a general rule, you should be able to hold a conversation as you exercise. If you become breathless as you talk, then you’re probably exercising too strenuously.

If you weren’t active before you got pregnant, don’t suddenly take up strenuous exercise. If you start an aerobic exercise class, make sure you tell the instructor that you’re pregnant and begin with a maximum of 15 minutes continuous exercise, three times a week. Increase this gradually to a maximum of four 30-minute sessions a week. Find a local gym or exercise group.

Remember that exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous to be beneficial.

Exercise tips when you’re pregnant:

  • always warm up before exercising, and cool down afterwards
  • try to keep active on a daily basis: half an hour of walking each day can be enough, but if you can’t manage that, any amount is better than nothing
  • avoid any strenuous exercise in hot weather
  • drink plenty of water and other fluids
  • if you go to exercise classes, make sure your teacher is properly qualified, and knows that you’re pregnant and how many weeks pregnant you are
  • you might like to try swimming because the water will support your increased weight – some local swimming pools provide aquanatal classes with qualified instructors

Exercises to avoid.

  • don’t lie flat on your back, particularly after 16 weeks, because the weight of your bump presses on the big blood vessels and can make you feel faint
  • don’t take part in contact sports where there’s a risk of being hit, such as kickboxing, judo or squash
  • don’t take part in horse riding, downhill skiing, ice hockey, gymnastics and cycling, because there is a risk of falling

Exercises for a fitter pregnancy.

If you are pregnant you should try to fit these exercises into your daily routine. They will strengthen your muscles so that you can carry the extra weight of pregnancy. They’ll also make joints stronger, improve circulation, ease backache and generally help you feel well.



Stomach strengthening exercises,

As your baby gets bigger, you may find that the hollow in your lower back increases and this can give you backache. These strengthen stomach (abdominal) muscles and ease backache, which can be a problem in pregnancy:

  • start in a box position (on all fours) with knees under hips, hands under shoulders, with fingers facing forward and abdominals lifted to keep your back straight
  • pull in your stomach muscles and raise your back up towards the ceiling, curling the trunk and allowing your head to relax gently forward – don’t let your elbows lock
  • hold for a few seconds then slowly return to the box position
  • take care not to hollow your back: it should always return to a straight/neutral position
  • do this slowly and rhythmically 10 times, making your muscles work hard and moving your back carefully
  • only move your back as far as you can comfortably

Pelvic tilt exercises.

  • stand with your shoulders and bottom against a wall
  • keep your knees soft
  • pull your tummy button towards your spine, so that your back flattens against the wall: hold for four seconds and release
  • repeat up to 10 times

Pelvic floor exercises.

Pelvic floor exercises help to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, which come under great strain in pregnancy and childbirth. Signs that your pelvic floor muscles are weak include leaking urine when you laugh, sneeze or cough. This helps to reduce or avoid stress incontinence after pregnancy. All pregnant women should do pelvic floor exercises, even if you’re young and not suffering from stress incontinence now.

How to do pelvic floor exercises:

  • close up your anus as if you’re trying to prevent a bowel movement
  • at the same time, draw in your vagina as if you’re gripping a tampon, and your urethra as if to stop the flow of urine
  • at first, do this exercise quickly, tightening and releasing the muscles immediately
  • then do it slowly, holding the contractions for as long as you can before you relax: try to count to 10
  • try to do three sets of eight squeezes every day: to help you remember, you could do them once at each meal

As well as these exercises, practice tightening up the pelvic floor muscles before and during coughing and sneezing.

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Exercises to do when you have children

Exercises to do when you have children

If you have a phobia of the gym, or if you are simply too busy or you have children so can’t make it to the gym, there are some simple exercises you can do at home and even with your children.

Walking – If the weather is nice, it’s wonderful to get outside and enjoy the scenery around you while you exercise. It is also good to get your children out and about, playing and chasing after them is exercise and fun. If you have a flight of stairs, go up and down them a few times. (You could even grab a load of laundry as you’re going that way anyway!) This will help to tone up your legs, while getting some low impact aerobic exercise as well. If you don’t have any stairs available, just walk around the house a few times – it may not be very exciting, but it will do the job.

Jumping Jacks – These are always fun, as they bring back memories of being a kid! Who hasn’t done jumping jacks for fun as a child? Well, surprise – they are also great cardio exercises, and good for warming up, too. This is another good one if you have children, this is just play to them and doing it together is enjoyable.

Push ups – These are probably not the most favourite exercise of many people, but while they can be hard to do, you can find easier ways to do them.  Do them on your knees, instead of keeping your legs straight. Or, do them standing up against a wall. You will be building up arm strength and working out muscles in your chest area.

Leg Lifts – These are great for building up strength and muscles in your legs. If you find it hard to do the exercises with your legs straight, try bending them slightly. This is good for toning up your thighs hips and bottom

Crunches – The best exercise for building up and strengthening abdominal muscles. When you’re just getting started, don’t worry about getting your head all the way up. So long as you’re going up until you feel the stretching of the muscles, you will see some benefit.

Jogging In Place – Jogging is a great exercise for your heart. You can jog in place at home while watching TV or listening to music. The only equipment you will require is a good pair of shoes, to eliminate any stress to your legs.

Squats – These are wonderful exercises for your legs and buttocks. You can even just try these by sitting and standing up again from a regular chair, if you’re finding them to be too difficult. As long as you’re able to do a few repetitions, you will be providing some benefit to your body.

Light Weight Lifting – No, you don’t need to go out and buy expensive weights for this! Just use whatever you can find in your house. Start out with something lighter, such as a can of peas, and work yourself up to heavier items. You can use milk jugs, laundry detergent bottles or even water jugs.

Dancing – Dancing is a wonderful exercise, which is great for your heart. Not only that, but it can lift your spirits as well, and give your overall feeling a boost. Practise some moves that you’d like to try at a club perhaps, discover some new styles of dancing.

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First Date Ready!!

First Date Ready!!

So you’ve got yourself a date, maybe it’s your first in a while or maybe you just want to try something different to make a good impression. Well here are some beauty tips you can try and some tips about how you should behave during the date…enjoy

Go for the natural beauty look, you got yourself a date and he was obviously attracted to you enough to ask to take you out. Don’t overdo it with too much lipstick, eyelashes so straight and sharp they look dangerous and 6 inch heels you can’t walk in. Apply a nice foundation with good coverage to even out your complexion, go for a mild mascara to give you a bit of volume and length but DON’T over-do it, nothing too heavy, mascara will open up your eyes so there is no need to wear eye shadow. If you do want to wear eye shadow go for a neutral colour, if you have small eyes, white eyeliner on your lower water line will open up your eyes even more and make them pop.

Now for the outfit – this is when you go to the back of your wardrobe and pull at that trusty Little Black Dress. The LBD works wonders, it hugs all the right places, covers all the places you want to hide and instantly turns you up glam, pair with a reasonable heel (and a clutch. Some chandelier earrings and a necklace should complete the look. No need for rings and bracelets, we’re going as natural as possible remember. Some ivory polish on the toes and fingers matching bracelet should complete the look. No need for rings and necklace

Now for your hair, why not try a nice try some soft bouncy curls, this is a look that works whether your hair is long or short. Just take a big barrel curler and heat for 10-15 seconds so the curls are not too tight. Be sure to use heat protecting serum, and hold with a mild but strong spritz. If you have a fringe, curl and hold in place with a bobby pin.

Now as nerve racking as a first date can be, try as hard as possible to relax…yes we are aware that there are millions of butterflies fluttering away in your tummy, but the calmer you are the more you’ll be able to enjoy this date. Have fun and go with the flow.

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